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Not on their own - Zoe Larmen and Suzanne Barwell

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WHEN Suzanne Barwell became a mum there were moments when she felt a little excluded.

As a single parent she wasn't able to join in conversations with her peers about their partners and all the support they received.

"I used to go to a breastfeeding group and the other mums would be talking about how their partner would help to do this or do that," said Suzanne, from Westcliff. "I did always think I had it really tough," she admitted.

She doesn't believe that any more.

Not wanting to feel left out any longer, Suzanne, who is mum to Ryan, two, decided to take direct action.

She approached the Sure Start Children's Centre in Southend, where she'd been attending the breastfeeding group, and suggested they started a session just for single mums and their children.

She was matched up with fellow volunteer, Zoe Larmen, who had suggested a similar thing, and Mothers On Their Own, also known as Moto, was born. Its first session last September attracted three mums. Now nearly nine months later, 16 have signed up.

"Zoe and I were sat at that first session wondering if anyone was going to turn up," says Suzanne. "Thankfully they did."

The group meets for two hours every Tuesday at the centre in Cambridge Road, Southend.

The first hour includes a free lunch and playtime for the children. In the second hour the children go into the centre's creche, to allow the parents the chance to have a hot drink and support session away from the demands of their offspring.

"Life as a mum can be highly pressurised, but as a single mum the stresses can be very different to that of a mum in a relationship where the partner shares responsibility for the child in a habitual way," explains Suzanne.

"Life as a lone parent can be tough, not only emotionally, but socially and financially too.

"Also as a full-time mum on your own, you can get quite depressed and it can be hard to get yourself motivated," she continued. "Having this group to come to every Tuesday gives mums a reason to get out. It has also provided a network of friends that are available to babysit for each other and has helped some of them get back to work or college.

"For me personally, it's made me realise I didn't have it as tough as a lot of other women," said Suzanne. "Also there are other women out there going through the same thing. I certainly don't feel as negative as I did."

Zoe, who has recently been appointed as the manager of the centre, hopes to set up an outreach project to help other single mums in the area. She explained: "The main issues for single mums are stigmatisation and isolation.

"People have a very set idea of what a single mum is, but actually the mums we deal with come from all walks of life."

The two women both agree, that a trip out last Christmas has been their most rewarding experience so far.

"My most memorable volunteering moment was at our Christmas party at the Sealife Adventure Centre, where about 40 mums and their children turned up to see Father Christmas," said a proud Suzanne.

"It was really enjoyable to see one-parent families coming together and sharing activities together to reduce the isolation many feel."

l For more information on the group, contact the children's centre on 01702 220810.

6:42am Friday 23rd May 2008

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